Is My Partner Kinky

Is my partner kinky

Is my partner kinky – ask Mistress Dark Rose.

As a longstanding Professional Dominatrix, I see many clients who have never shared their kinky side with their partners, and never will. Most are married or in long term relationships (sometimes for decades) whose partners haven’t the first clue about the extent of their real inclinations, sexuality or deep desires.  And absolutely no interest in finding out.  And there’s nothing wrong with that – it is how it is.  Of course, those people are the ones who visit Me, either regularly or spasmodically, when their kinky “itch” gets to the point where it needs to be scratched. 

Seeing a Professional or experienced Dominatrix has its main benefits in being a discrete, non-judgemental and private environment to connect with your authentic self and explore desires and levels of sexuality you cannot share with your significant other. Not to mention a Pro Domme’s ability to provide intense sensations and evoke states of mind in Her clients safely and without leaving physical marks.  Imagine trying to explain ligature or impact marks to your unsuspecting spouse! 

I’m so immersed in, and passionate about, the BDSM lifestyle, I routinely ask My clients what steps they’ve taken to get their partners on board with the idea of exploring their kinky sides, not so much to enthusiastically embark on the Kink Train, but at least have a better understanding of their partner’s inclinations and desires. The responses I get are mixed.

For some, that train has long departed, but for others, who’ve just met new partners and/or are getting to know each other on a more intimate level, it’s crucial to know that introducing BDSM practices into a relationship requires open communication, trust, and mutual consent. The same can be said for long term partners who are looking for new ways to spice up their intimacy and deepen their connection.

 

Is my partner kinky

HOW CAN I GET MY PARTNER INTERESTED IN KINK?

Here are some steps you can take to help get your partner interested in exploring BDSM:

  • Educate Yourself: Gain a thorough understanding of BDSM practices, dynamics, and safety considerations. Familiarize yourself with different aspects, such as bondage, dominance/submission, and role-playing. This knowledge will help you communicate effectively and address any concerns your partner may have.

  • Open and Honest Communication: Initiate a conversation with your partner about your interest in exploring BDSM. Choose a comfortable and relaxed setting where you both feel safe to discuss your desires and boundaries. Encourage your partner to express their thoughts, concerns, and curiosities without judgment.

  • Start Slowly: Introduce BDSM concepts gradually, starting with lighter activities that align with both your comfort levels. This could include using blindfolds, light restraints, or experimenting with power dynamics in a controlled and consensual manner. Make sure to establish a safe word or signal that either of you can use to communicate discomfort or the need to pause.

    Explore Mutual Interests: Find areas of BDSM that resonate with both of you. Discuss activities or fantasies that you both find intriguing or exciting. By focusing on shared interests, you can create a foundation for mutual exploration and ensure that you both feel involved and invested in the experience.

  • Respect Boundaries and Consent: It’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and consent throughout the process. Regularly check in with your partner to ensure they feel comfortable and safe. Encourage open communication during and after BDSM activities to address any concerns or adjustments needed.

  • Seek Professional Guidance: If you both feel uncertain or want additional support, consider consulting a knowledgeable and experienced BDSM practitioner like Me. They can provide guidance, answer questions, and help navigate the exploration of BDSM in a safe and responsible manner.

 

 

Remember, it is essential to respect your partner’s boundaries and interests. Not everyone may be interested in exploring BDSM, and it is crucial to approach the topic with sensitivity and understanding. Consent and open communication should always be the foundation of any BDSM activities.

Sometimes the opportunities to experience BDSM come in surprising ways, as was the case for Me. 

I met a partner who had been kinky all his adult life, yet it had never occurred to Me that I might be the slightest bit interested.  I’d had a reasonably satisfying vanilla life up to that point, and while the concept of exploring BDSM was never forced on Me, I did feel obliged by My love for him to at least educate Myself about it and experiment with him to satisfy his needs.

Is my partner kinky

MY PARTNER IS INTO KINK – WHAT DO I DO NOW?

If you’ve discovered that your partner is interested in BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism), and you are unsure about it or whether you’re interested, it’s important to approach the situation with open communication and a willingness to learn.

Here are some things you can do:

  • Educate yourself: Start by gaining a basic understanding of BDSM. Read books, articles, or reputable online resources that explain the different aspects of BDSM, the terminology involved, and the principles of safe, sane, and consensual play. This will help you make informed decisions and have productive conversations with your partner.

  • Reflect on your boundaries and desires: Take some time to think about your own boundaries, desires, and comfort levels when it comes to BDSM activities. Consider what aspects might interest you or make you uncomfortable. Identifying your limits and knowing what you’re open to will help guide your conversations with your partner.

  • Have an open and honest conversation: Initiate a conversation with your partner about their interest in BDSM. Express your curiosity and let them know that you’re open to learning more, but also communicate any concerns or reservations you may have. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions, and encourage them to do the same. It’s important to establish clear lines of communication and ensure that both partners feel heard and respected.

  • Start slow and experiment: If you decide to explore BDSM with your partner, take it slow and start with activities that you feel comfortable with. Consider trying out lighter forms of BDSM, such as role-playing, light bondage, or sensory play. Communicate throughout the process and provide feedback to each other, adjusting the intensity or trying different activities as you both become more comfortable.

  • Seek guidance from experienced practitioners: Connecting with experienced individuals or joining BDSM communities (online or in person) can provide valuable insights and guidance. Engaging with knowledgeable practitioners like Me who prioritize consent and safety can help you understand the various aspects of BDSM and learn about different play styles.

  • Prioritize consent and safety: Consent and safety are paramount in any BDSM activities. Establish clear boundaries and use safe words or signals to communicate when an activity needs to stop. Educate yourself on the importance of aftercare, which involves providing comfort and support to each other after a scene. Understanding the risks, practicing risk-aware consensual kink (RACK), or negotiating a safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) approach will help ensure a positive and consensual experience.

     


Exploring BDSM or any new sexual activity should always be consensual, and you should never feel pressured into doing something you’re uncomfortable with. It’s okay to take your time, learn, and make decisions that align with your own desires and comfort levels.

From My experience, when it comes to kink, just because you’re into it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is. I say to people, you’re either kinky or you’re not, but you don’t know until you try.  BDSM can be a powerful tool to deepen trust, communication and an intimate connection with your partner. 

But if you really can’t bring yourself to go there, at least give your partner to opportunity to explore and satisfy their kinky itches with your blessing.  I look at it a bit like abseiling.  If your partner is really into it, and doing it safely and openly, with responsible fellow kinksters, they’re fulfilling a need which ultimately makes them a better person – their needs are being met so they feel whole and more empowered to have a solid relationship with you.

is my partner kinky


PLAY DOESN’T MEAN PLAYING AROUND

It is often challenging for a non-kinky (vanilla) person to grasp the intricacies of kink and its signficance in your partner’s life.  Unless you have some understanding of it, what your partner’s particular interests and desires are, and how they expect to meet them, you could be fooled into thinking (quite understandably) that you aren’t “enough” for them. 

Any good relationship gives each partner the space and encouragement to fulfil their desires and dreams.  If your partner has an irresistable urge to learn latin dancing, or paragliding, or French cooking, are you going to stop them! 

BDSM is no different, so why not take the opportunity to be involved (directly or indirectly, as you feel comfortable) in their interests and exploration.  Enrichment comes from variety and shared experiences.  A solid relationship is seated in trust and open communication.  If your partner has confidence in you to share their deepest desires, treat it like the gift it is.

Again, like any activity one partner does without the other, be interested and open with your communication and concerns about their activities and interests.  BDSM isn’t always about sex, in most instances, but people can develop a deep connection with another kinky play partner, especially a regular one, so it’s important that you’ve set boundaries and expectations with your spouse well before that becomes an issue.

 

 

If you’d like to know more about the dynamics of BDSM relationships and how they can best align or co-exist with your situation, please feel free to contact Me. 

I offer coaching services to couples getting started in kink and there’s plenty of information on My website to help you navigate this unique opportunity to know your partner on a deeper and more intimate level. 

Yours in link

Mistress Dark Rose

0499 978 955