Tips for BDSM newbies

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I just sent this reply (below) to a new person’s polite request to be considered and give them a few pointers. I wrote……

To be clear – I’m friending you on fetlife, not considering you.

As you’re new to this lifestyle I’ll give you these pointers…

  1. Address a Dominant as they wish to be addressed – you need to ask, not assume.
  2. Read profiles properly before contacting anyone – you’re likely to be admonished, but most likely you’ll just be ignored (and left wondering why). The other side of the coin is you may be giving your adoration to someone who doesn’t deserve it – read back on their history and comments etc before you devote yourself to them
  3. Please address Me as Mistress, not Goddess. If you’d read My profile properly, you would know I’m not into body worship, nor am I looking for a slave/boi.
  4. Careful with your wording, especially if messaging someone. “Considering” has a different meaning in BDSM than real life, for example.
  5. Join some CD / slave groups (type your interest into the Search bar) and learn from mentors of similar nature, be polite and ask questions.. Make sure to read the group rules before you join, you don’t want to get kicked out because you overlooked it
  6. Don’t post opinions on anything here – fetlife is for networking, not gossip or bad karma – there’s already plenty of that IRL
  7. Try to meet people at munches and social gatherings – don’t go out with the sole purpose of “looking” for a Dominant. If you search “Places” rather than Events, you’ll find local activities there. The right person will come along – it will happen organically and as it’s supposed to

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With these rules in mind, I’m sure you’ll find it easier to explore this amazing lifestyle with confidence and meet many wonderful like minded souls. But always remember, follow your instincts.

Yours in kink

0499 978 955

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